At my office, we have a large fish tank. In this tank, we have an eel that is a foot long, 3 sharks (one of them an albino), a catfish, a long skinny fish that has really sharp teeth (I can't remember what he's called), and a bunch of other fish that I don't like that much so I didn't try to learn what they are.
Every second Friday is what the office refers to as "Carnage Day". On this day, VP of Op. goes out and buys a bag of feeder fish (goldfish) and drops them in the tank to feed the other fish.
Yesterday, was Carnage Day. I had waited all week for it.
The long skinny fish (let's call him Fabio for simplicity sake) is evil. Before the feeder fish were even out of the bag, he was already trying to down one of them. Unfortunately, the feeder fish that VP of Op. got were larger then normal, because they were out of small ones. So Fabio, is trying to down this thing tail first, then starts choking on it's tail so proceeds to spit it back out. Then he figures if he mushes it a bit, that will be better. So now he is squishing this fish around his mouth and repeatedly swallowing and then spitting it back up.
So disgusting, yet so cool.
Fabio repeats this process with 5 more fish, then comes to the conclusion that he is going to be a fatty if he eats anymore.
Meanwhile, the feeder fish have gathered in a corner, figuring that nobody is going to see this giant mass of moving food. Oscar (who apparently is an oscar fish) swims over and grabs 6 of them at once. I am not joking. Oscar is so freaking skilled, he can dislodge his jaw to allow for maximum fish consumption.
I've decided that I want fish like this. When I was younger we had fish. But they were really small and the only thing they could do was get sucked up into the filter. It was some sort of mass suicide.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
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25 comments:
I wish I could dislodge my jaw for maximum fish consumption. That would rock.
Don't you dislodge your jaw when you're sucking dick, Johnny?
Don't flatter yourself, Reid.
I can deep throat a fork
You could "pick up" so many "girls" if you showed off that talent.
By "girls" I mean gay men.
And by "pick up" I mean deep throat.
My tongue doesn't mind the taste of Lactobacillus...I have no issues with girls.
A penis is not a fork though. My skills are limited to only metal things in the oral cavitry, unlike you who will take vibrating plastic any way possible.
Touché. What can I say?
You know how I know you're gay? you put the accent (é) on the e
You know how I know you're gay? You listen to James Blunt.
You know how I know you're gay? You like any sauce that is white
You know how I know you're gay? You know who Bernie Taupin is.
You know how I know you're gay? You think Elvis Stojko has hot legs.
YKHIKYG? You own an anal fleshlight.
YKHIKYG? You gay me the anal flesh light.
YKHIKYG? You used the word "gay" instead of "gave".
YKHIKYG? You think the anal fleshlight is for your butthole
YKHIKYG? You named your anal fleshlight "Hank".
YKHIKYG? You lick butthole
YKHIKYG? You actually lick butthole... and claimed to enjoy it in both directions.
YKHIKYG? You shave your balls, choda, and butthole
YKHIKYG? You recommended that I try the Gillete Fusion.
YKHIKYG? You won
YKHIKYG? You succumbed to me.
AND......DONE.
You know how I know you both are gay?
Cause I've seen you two having sex.
(You know how I know I'm gay? It was in my dreams).
I'm passing the crown to you, sir.
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