So it is 10:30am (Montreal time) and I have refused to get out of bed and get dressed. Andre has gone off to school (haha sucker!) and so the only thing I have to do is either watch TV or play on his computer.
Now normally, seeing as I really don't watch TV that often, I would choose that as something to keep me occupied due to the fact that I think that everything that I haven't seen is a "brand new show". Unfortunately, 80% of the channels are in French. The only ones that aren't are the American ones (which consist of TLC, TSN, and Discovery) which the French would not touch with a ten foot pole. They think that not dubbing over American english with French is an insult....?
Anyways, my TV watching has consisted of episodes of "Take Home Chef", "Property Ladder" and the occasional episode of "Mythbusters" if I am lucky. I have grown to hate everyone on Property Ladder because they are all morons and continually prove their stupidity on the show. Take Home Chef was alright, but unless Curtis starts cooking without a shirt on, I'm bored of it. Mythbusters is the only thing I have to look forward to unless Discovery does some special about dinosaurs. Because everyone knows that dinosaurs are awesome.
So far I have only encountered two people who refused to speak English to me. I've gone shopping so much that I know how to recognize simple "shopping phrases" in French, to which I reply "oui" or "non" and slip in a "merci" once in a while just to prove that I am the French master. Last night my head almost exploded as the people we were with spoke a combination of English, Vietnamese, and French to our waitress. I shall call this new language Enchamese.
As for the title of this post, I haven't yet decided if everyone here is an idiot, or if Montreal really is a collection of super-heroes who are ultimately indestructible. Everyone drives wherever they want, whenever they want. Pedestrians are the same way. All traffic lights and signs are merely suggestions and should be used to prove to others just how indestructible you are.
They are also in love with their horns. I have a feeling that if a horn should break on the car of a Montrealer, they would probably curl up in the fetal position and cry. Horns are a symbol of power. The more you honk your horn, the more powerful you are. I originally thought that all these people were honking at each other, but then I witnessed not one, but two cars going down the stree at different times just honking their horns repeatedly.
Maybe it is to warn pedestrians to get out of their way, because today, they aren't even going to use traffic lights and signs as suggestions, but are just seeing them as decoration on the side of the road.
My idea of the "Moderately Convenient" store has already been nabbed by the French too. It seems that the only thing that the convenient stores sell are cigs, newspapers, gum and pop. Actually, now that I think about it, those items don't even make it moderately convenient. I never walk down the street and get a small craving for a newspaper.
I am going to finish up this post for now, because there seems to be someone outside with a microphone set at a ridiculous volume. I am in the 12th floor of my hotel and I can hear him clearly repeating "un, deus, frenchwordforthree".
Sorry, I can say frenchwordforthree but I can't remember how to spell it. And the first time I tried I wrote "twat" and I really hope that is not the correct spelling.
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Actually, I think the French word for three is "twat". At least, that's how I pronounce it.
Ok, clearly the next time you go to Montreal, I have to go with you. I can handle insane drivers because I'm fairly certain Libyans are the worst drivers in the world (and I lived there for 6 months). I'm also fluent in Enchamese.
Finally, I'm both idiot-resistant and 30% Kryptonite, so I should be able to repel most Montreallers.
See? We should have been travel buddies. When you get home, you can rant, rave, and complain to me to your heart's content.
Hmm, I like twat for three. You need three people to "Eiffel Tower" and that is "French". Twat works its way in there...just think about it Johnny. Yes, twat is the new name for my Eiffel Tower goal. If I can complete that before NKorea enters a nuclear (nucular to GW Bushians), I can say I will die a happy man.
Reid, if you're ever presented the opportunity for an Eiffel Tower, let me know and I'll be on the first bus to Edmonton to turn that deux into a Twat. That is, assuming we haven't been vapourized by then.
Vapourized in pleasure, or by God for my sins? Oh...you are talking about the nukes. I am sure the nukes will destroy the Eiffel Tower dream...or maybe the lack of willing participants will. Note, I use the word willling.
We should just create a forum for banter so I don't have to scan blogs to check for things to discuss. It's such a pain to check all the comments on everyones' blogs numerous times a day.
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